Let’s face it, haters are abundant. Anyone who’s stepping out into a new idea, a big goal or an even bigger dream knows what I’m talking about. Being an original thinker is not always welcomed; especially when people want to try and keep you in a neat, little box with the rest of the ‘sheeple’. Even if you’re going through your day-to-day minding your own business with nothing major going on, criticism can still abound.
I don’t know why it’s our natural instinct to judge things and at times look for the worst in situations before seeing the positive but I know that it’s something that I recognize in myself and would love to change or at least be cognizant to do it less.
Lately I’ve been facing a lot of criticism. It’s been primarily from men and interestingly, from men that want to date me but can’t because I’m currently not dating anyone (or they’re simply not a good match). I’m a hot mess when it comes to men these days and despite my taking the courage to know myself, get better, heal and set my boundaries, here are some of the gems being thrown at me:
• You’re all over the place.
• You’re so mean. All I really want is a nice girl. (Please, don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Nice enough for ya?)
• If all you can do is remind me of my mistakes, then don’t even talk.
• You’re deflecting. (I think he meant projecting. Geez Louise, if you’re going to insult me with psychobabble terms at least get the lingo right!)
• You don’t get it.
• You’ve ruined it! It was so good up to that point… (From a guy reading my bio for my book because I used the word sober instead of clean)
• It would not make any difference to my life whether or not you were around.
Nice huh? I’d be lying if I said that these statements didn’t affect me. As a woman with a sensitive nature and a soft soul (despite it being hidden under walls as thick as Fort Knox), these statements hurt me and as a result I had 2 choices. I could fight back and defend myself or take the high road, listen to what the person said, decide whether or not I was going to take it on as my own personal truth (which I didn’t) and walk away.
By nature I’m a fighter and it is very hard for me to walk away which is what I chose to do in each of these situations. The feeling of knowing that I didn’t sink to their level, fuel the fire with insults back to them (because believe me, I had at least a few fiery darts I could have fired back in regards to their ‘faults’) and the fact didn’t feel the need to defend myself is quite empowering!
You may be wondering why I didn’t feel the need to defend myself. Here’s why – I know who I am today and I have no plans to change for anyone. I know that I am strong, confident, fierce, determined, loving, compassionate, faith-filled and soulful. I also know I’m not for everyone. I’ve gone through enough pain for two lifetimes and yet I still remain here with a smile on my face by God’s help and grace. I have seen all sides to my character both good and bad and I accept that there’s both good and evil in me. It’s in all of us.
I accept who I am today and I realize that as a published author who has launched my debut book on Amazon (and now have in house reading and signing at Audrey’s books coming up because they’ve agreed to sell my book!), this isn’t the last of the haters and the critics. I need to hold strong right now for what’s coming. To know that no matter how much people like or hate my book and/or me as a person that I’m not going to crumble. I’m not going to fall. Heck, I might even welcome the disses and the ‘feedback’ because really, how else can we grow if people are only feeding us sunshine and good vibes? I can learn as much from what people don’t like about me as I can from what they do like.
I have grown the most effectively in the trials of life and in the trenches of my internal wars. I will continue on this path like a true, warrior princess and with God’s help I will prevail!
A note to my dear readers: don’t let the suckers get you down. Life is full of road blocks, pebbles in your shoe or other annoying things that can steal your joy. Keep your dreams alive anyways. You are valuable, you have purpose and YOU are worth it!
Love and snuggles, Christine:)